Godless Governor Removes Environmental Heretic

It was Ann Coulter who first described modern day American Liberalism not merely as an ideology devoid of religion but as a religion in and of itself. With that in mind, Oregon’s Governor Ted Kulongoski, himself a devout Liberal, is set to fire the State Climatologist for daring to disagree with one of the central pillars of the faith, that global warming is caused by man. Interestingly enough, Kulongoski has no authority to do so presently, since the position was created by Oregon State University and not the state government itself. He has publicly stated that George Taylor’s views interfere with his regime’s stated goals of combating greenhouse gases within the state, and wishes to appoint a practicing Liberal to the position himself.

Taylor’s differing perspective on global warming is tantamount to heresy in the Liberal faith. He has stated repeatedly that the recent observable changes in the climate are caused by documented natural variations that have gone on for thousands of years instead of by affluent suburbanite Republicans driving SUV’s as Liberals claim. This is in spite of a proclamation Friday by hundreds of the top Liberal clergy (in what is tentatively being called “Kyoto II”) that man is, in fact, the cause of global warming, evidence to the contrary be damned. The fact that there are a large number of prominent scientists, including Taylor, who do not accept this finding should be enough to declassify man-made global warming as scientific fact. That is unless Hummers existed 400 million years ago.

The assertion at Kyoto II does not so much represent irrefutable scientific fact as much as it does Liberal religious dogma. Taylor is being punished by Governor Kulongoski for holding a view contrary to that of the Church of Liberalism. There is a bill currently being proposed that will give Kulongoski the authority to fire Taylor and personally appoint a successor. Senator Brad Avakian (D-Washington County) has even gone so far as to invite Taylor to testify to his beliefs before his committee (doesn’t that sound familiar?). While it hasn’t yet reached the scale of the Catholic Church’s persecution of Galileo and Copernicus for questioning the geocentric theory of the universe, Taylor is having his employment threatened in a state which will almost certainly blacklist him for his heretical beliefs. Quite simply, George Taylor’s high profile and contrarian beliefs on global warming could make him almost unemployable in a state as devoutly and fanatically Liberal as Oregon.

In his place, Governor Kulongoski wants to fire Taylor and replace him with a stanch Liberal who will defend the flat earth- er, artificially warming earth- dogma. This intolerance of dissenting views (and the evidence to prove them) represents the doctrine of infallibility characterized by Ms. Coulter in her recent book. Furthermore, the assertion that man-made global warming cannot be disproved separates the statement of belief from mainstream science. Instead of someone who might pose a threat to the Liberal view of the world, Kulongoski wants to be able to appoint someone to a position the state government never had any jurisdiction over in the first place in order to carry out their crusade against greenhouse gasses. Let this action serve as a warming to all of us who challenge Liberal orthodoxy. After all, no one expects the Liberal Inquisition!