GOP Candidates Ditch Debates, Pwn n00bs

You can only be so stupid, but somehow the Democrats’ base has broken such boundaries yet again, and the current crop of Democrat presidential candidates seems all too willing to accommodate them. I refer of course to the much-ignored YouTube debates which allowed those with no business being involved in the American political system an outlet to vent their insanity. The debates were aired by CNN but the format was better suited for Nickelodeon. Serious questions were on the scarce side and, like a Michigan versus Penn State football game, there were no real winners. There were also few viewers, but still more than watched Live Earth.

This isn’t the first time Democrats have succeeded in making 18 to 25 year olds look ignorant, apathetic, and downright dumb. MTV’s Rock the Vote campaign failed spectacularly in its attempt to get their viewers to the polls even after the infamous “boxers or briefs” question asked to Bill Clinton (which somehow was still more articulate than about 90% of this week’s questions). Although candidates tried their best to answer the pressing concerns of the young with a straight face, (condoms in schools, drug legalization, and FCC indecency standards) the young still stayed away in droves.

After the debates, it’s hard to imagine youth showing up again this time around. Questions which survived the rigorous screening process included a song about taxes, more than a few obscenities, a re-launching of the 2000 election conspiracy, and an “are my ‘babies’ safe” question about gun control. One questioner asked each candidate to name something they liked and disliked about the candidate to their left. Not making the cut were questions asking candidates their favorite color and if Hillary would bone Howard Stern. Appropriately enough, the night’s most ridiculous question, posed by a man dressed as a snowman, was answered by the field’s most ridiculous candidate, Dennis Kucinich (this after eventually convincing security he was one of the candidates, not one of the bloggers).

In the wake of this week’s absurdity, it’s not hard to understand why Republican candidates who aren’t desperate for face time (John McCain and Ron Paul) have all declined to show up to the forthcoming YouTube debate in September. Mitt Romney summed up the candidates’ preference for sanity in debates by stating “I think the presidency ought to be held at a higher level than having to answer questions from a snowman.” Eight years of Bill Clinton’s antics combined with this week’s nonsense should erase all question of a higher level held by Democrats.

To be fair, as fundamentally flawed as the YouTube debates were, the basic idea was well-intentioned: regular people asking candidates questions about issues they cared about. A better idea for Republicans would be to make joint appearances on a talk radio program (that is, if Democrats don’t succeed in shutting them down first) and answering questions from listeners. Callers would be screened as to prevent the baffling idiocy of YouTube, their questions would be far less likely to end in “OMFG, PWNED!” and questioners would probably at least hold a high school diploma. What’s more, there would actually be a listening audience this time.