In Time for Valentines' Day: Broken Condom No Problem, says OSU

Ohio State’s daily dead fish wrapper reported on Tuesday that the Wilce Student Health Center would soon be offering Plan B, the new pill that prevents victims of bad hookups from bearing the responsibility of having a child. This is in accordance with the pill becoming available over-the-counter last August. The move should hardly be regarded as surprising or shocking, as it is the latest implementation of Ohio State’s policy on sexual relations, which can best be described as “they’re going do it anyway, so we might as well make it easier for them to do it.”

Yes, the same people who gave you more condoms than you knew what to do with the first day you checked in to your residence hall (as well as extensive, mandatory lessons on how to use them) is now providing you with an additional escape route should any of those condoms fail. The pill has been a point of controversy on both sides of the abortion debate, pro-life and anti-life alike, since it was approved for use in 1999. “There’s no controversy here, we feel it is a part of routine care,” said Dr. Roger Miller, assistant director of clinical services for Student Health Services. Personally, if I’m any indication, sexual activity is anything but “routine.”

The pill marks the latest addition to the vast collection of contraception available to students at little or no cost. This is consistent with abortion advocates’ assertions that abortions be safe, legal, available to all, and taxpayer-funded. The addition is no doubt the university’s response to other pharmacists in Ohio daring to let their primitive notions of “ethics” and “morals” get in the way of 14-year-olds weaseling out of a surprise pregnancy. It is the assertion of this university that moral objections to dispensing Plan B are trumped by the pharmacists’ obligation to provide “treatment” to customers, or at least refer them to where they can get it themselves. It is well known that Unplanned Parenthood is adamant in dispensing this and other products to whoever wants it, regardless of age or circumstance, at reduced cost or no cost at all. And I even know where they’re located on campus.

Perhaps the best course of action for Ohio State and for Ohio pharmacies as a whole is to treat Plan B as they would treat Sudafed. As we all know, Sudafed is a cold medicine of somewhat questionable legality, since its main ingredient can be used to produce methamphetamine. States have tackled this problem not by attacking the meth manufacturers themselves or by enforcing existing drug laws but by making Sudafed virtually impossible to obtain. Therefore, if someone really needs Sudafed, they can get it, but only by jumping through a series of hoops. Pharmacies can place Plan B behind the check-out counter, keep track of how much they have and how much they sell, and make the little harlots ask for it by name with proof of age and identity. Certainly terminating a pregnancy is a matter more serious than treating the common cold. Or at least I thought it was.